Look, that picture is pretty self-explanatory. The Cuddle Mattress is made specifically to make it easier for new couples to cuddle with greater ease. It’s also made for older couples to be reminded of how they once used to cuddle all the time and now things suck and maybe we should get a divorce. The top and bottom part of the memory foam mattress feature deep grooves into which you can insert your shoulders, arms, and even tuck your toes. This leads to a straighter spine, less numbness in your arm, more cuddling time and overall more happiness. Or something. Which you’ll need to help you stop crying after you spend an outrageous $1,599 for the memory foam version of the mattress.

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