Anti-Theft/Space-Saving Coffins

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v_crypts_coffins_lg.gifBy Bruce Eaton

Helping the trend of the absurd and ritzy is a new anti-thieving, space saving technology for coffins in South Africa. Winning the National Student Innovation competition at Wits University, students designed a pyramid-shaped coffin that employs a chemical indicator sensitive to body odours, which changes the colour of the wood as the body decomposes inside it. Undertakers have been notorious in South Africa for digging up coffins and reselling them. This pretty much solves that problem, what with the customer seeing giant purplish stains all over the box.

You are probably wondering how these are ritzy considering they are wooden coffins. Well according to South African culture, only royalty and the upper class in ancient Africa were buried in a squatting position. These coffins emulate that same style not only in a step to increase fanciness but the coffins actually use 66% less space with this design and help with the overcrowding issues they are experiencing in graveyards all around the region. With so many dead they better hope they don’t have a zombie attack.

[Anti-Theft Coffins]

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A graduate of Colgate University, Bruce is one of the elite Henro or pilgrims who have completed the 900 mile 88 Temple Pilgrimage on the island of Shikoku, Japan by means of foot power, a feat (no pun intended.... ok maybe alittle) which is no laughing matter. He not only finished this task with a crippling leg injury but he has attained enlightenment according to the monks on Koyasan. Currently the 23 year old is living in San Antonio where he spends his time working as a Data Analyst but also trying to accomplish his next great challenge, drinking all 200 beers at the Flying Saucer. Having recently married his long time friend from college and seen as nuts for doing so, Bruce relishes his life and hot dogs generously. KANPAI!!

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